I'm an Addict

I watch too much CSI.

And there's no denying it.  Several clues tipped me off:

First, I have found lately that - if given a little bit of down time to let my mind wander - I look around and think about how I would most likely be killed in the given moment. 

Example:  I'm lying in bed at night and notice the window directly in front of me.  It overlooks the roof of the garage, which is against the side of a hill.  The cat, my stepdad, or anyone else wanting to get on the roof can do so without any effort at all.  Simply walk from the grass in our backyard (on the hill) onto the roof of the garage.  Easy.  Easy for the cat, easy for my stepdad, easy for maniacal psycho-killers who want to break into my house and kill me.  So I look around my room.  What clues will be left for Nick (my personal favorite - so hot), Catherine, Sara, Grissom (also attractive in a brainy kind of way), and Warrick (okay, he's hot too) when they come to investigate?  They'll see the broken window, of course.  But will Pete (my cuddly, loving, soft Golden Retriever) have walked through my blood and trailed it through the house?  Will he have licked it up?  Will he have been a victim too?  Or, worst of all, will he be blamed for the crime?!  (There was an episode once about a Golden who would go crazy every time she heard a loud noise.  A gun shot set her off and she attacked and killed her owner.)

Second, I find myself believing that the characters in the show are real people.

Example:  I'm watching the news with my mom.  The reporter is talking about the latest murder story.  In my mind I think, "Awesome.  Griss and the team are working the scene right now."  Or - if it's a day like, well, today - I say aloud to Mom, "If Nick and Catherine were there, they would have solved it already."  She is nice enough not to mention that I am not fully grounded in reality.

Third, any time I see something even slightly suspicious my mind is immediately flooded with possibilities.  This, of course, is worse when a situation is more than slightly suspicious.

Example:  I am driving home from work.  Police lights reflect off of the 18-wheeler in front of me, and as I follow it around the turn I see not one, but four cruisers on the side of the highway.  They have pulled over a Greyhound bus.  I continue driving and in an instant the scene is behind me.  Scenarios come to me in a rush.  It is a drug bust.  It is a bus of convicts and they have hijacked the vehicle.  There was a murder on the bus-full of old ladies making their way back from a huge BINGO convention in the city.  (Hey, that one's pretty good, eh?)

Fourth, I am afraid.

Example:  I am walking to my truck from my house.  It is pitch black.  I wave my flashlight in every direction looking for movement.  At the slightest noise, I freeze and listen carefully until I'm convinced it was my imagination.  When I reach my truck, I jump in as quickly as possible and lock the door behind me.  I hesitate to turn on my headlights; there may be a body dangling from the top of my stepdad's shed.

No lie.  True story.  And clues 1-3 never really bothered me.  It's the fear that's not okay.  I don't believe in living in fear - it's the tool of an Evil one.  So I have a choice to make.  Can I battle the fear?  Or will I have to give up CSI?

Well, maybe I should give up watching entire seasons at a time. 

Yikes.  Addicted.